Doubt

Doubt

Wow I thought I had come so far from the doubt.. I thought I had found my strength and my inner-voice. But I have realized that it doesn’t take much to let doubt sink in. I am not sure that it is a bad thing. I have not really decided. Doubt makes me take a personal inventory of process and the whys of what I do, to be sure that I am really following the divines path and not my own. I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I need to be sure that my human side is not influencing my mission I am here to do for the, “other side” So self-assessment is never a bad thing! This I understand. My issue today is, “doubt” wondering if I have been doing the things I was put here to do, wondering if I have over stepped boundaries  with people, wondering if I have changed people’s lives for the good. I am fairly new to accepting and using my gifts, so I suspect this will probably become an easier and I hope stream lined process as I move forward. Right now I find myself taking a self -inventory of why.

Why did I say what I said, when a week ago when the words were there, there were no doubts, no second thoughts, I had prayed that what needed to be said, be said and that I be a vehicle for whatever the Divine needed me to do. God knows I am his vehicle, and I am more than willing to use the gifts He gave me to help others. I sit here wondering,, pondering events from a rather large intervention last weekend, processing all that happened and wondering-who did I help, what did I fix, who did I heal. I am so torn by the ease and feeling of last weekend. While the process was happening, I just let it happen, and now in reflection I wonder.

Is this doubt, this “why curiosity” my human side interfering, Is it my humanness rearing its head-or is it what needs to happen so I keep myself in line with the journey my soul is on?

I don’t know the answer, last weekend, it’s all so new to me, and I suspect I will have to pray and meditate a lot following another intervention so I can process it earlier instead of letting it grow into doubt.

I did not reflect or meditate on the events prior to now and I suspect that is where my error comes in at. I cannot master my own emotions by ignoring them, a lesson I know all too well. I know that this is ramblings and I understand it may not help anyone, but I had to release it and I had to let it go-I had to let the universe know  that I am in fact searching for these answers and that my life purpose  is under direct attack at this very moment. I will find my peace only in the Divines guidance! I will report back after my journey of reflection is complete!! J

Blessings

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